Fangirlishness and Writer's Block
by seikatsu-chan
Summary: This will end up being a collection of the unbelievably random and crazy fanfics I write when I have writers block. Expect a lot of crack. This may not only be SpongeBob and Hetalia, Sorry for the inconvenience. I do not own Hetalia or SpongeBob.
1. Chapter 1

(WARNING: this is a production of boredom, writers block, and fangirl-ish-ness. Viewer discretion advised.)

This story features Spongebob!Italy, Squidward!Germany, Mr. Crabs!Austria, Pearl!Poland, Plankton!Switzerland, Garry!Itaby, Sandy!China, and Karen!Lichtenstein. I do not own SpongeBob or Hetalia. If I did I certainly wouldn't be making a crossover. I have too much pride in my work.

Italy got up in the morning to the sound of his blow horn alarm clock. He stretched, got dressed, and fed his cat. He skipped out the door. It was time to work at the Crusty Crab with Germany! Yay! He high-fived his best friend, America.

Italy waltzed in the doors of the Crusty Crab, humming to himself about crabby patties.

"Ve~ Hello Germany!" he said, full of joy.

"Italy," Germany replied gruffly.

"Mr. Austria! I'm here!"

"Yes, now get to work. Time is money!"

"Yes sir!"

Italy ran past the kitchen doors to be greeted by the same room he had worked in for years. He was ready to do what he loved, cook Crabby Patties and pasta. He soon got an order and threw some patties on the grill and pasta in the water. Today was a great day, as always.

All of a sudden, BOOM! The ceiling of the kitchen blew off for the umpteenth time that month and Switzerland came down from the ceiling with a jet pack.

"Ve~ Don't hurt me! I'll tell you whatever you want!"

Austria burst into the room with fire in his eyes. "Vash! How many times do I have to tell you you'll never get the Crabby Patty formula!"

"Oh, but I will!" Switzerland pulled out a wireless button and pressed it. A cage fell from the sky.

Austria was screaming at Switzerland for destroying his ceiling and Italy was begging for mercy.

Switzerland held up a gun to Austria's head. "Tell me where the formula is!" he screamed.

"Try me," Austria growled.

Switzerland turned to Italy. "Will you tell me where the Crabby Patty formula is?"

"It's in the-" Italy was cut off by America knocking down the door.

"The hero is here to save the day!"

Meanwhile, Germany walked past the knocked-over door, sighing. "Switzerland," he said, glaring daggers at the country, "you need to go. Now."

Switzerland looked scared and flew away. Austria lifted the cage off of him and Italy and muttered about how much repairing the ceiling would cost.

Switzerland trudged into the into the Chum Bucket. He walked over to a table and started to bang his head against it.

Lichtenstein walked over quietly. "Switzerland, are you ok?"

"No. I'm not. I'm worthless, I always loose to Austria." Switzerland complained.

"You are not! Look, you even grabbed the bottle!"

"What?" Switzerland looked down and there, attached to his boot, was a bottle tied up with string.

Switzerland's spirits immediately lifted. He danced around the room with Lichtenstein, laughing with joy.

He then opened the bottle. Inside of it was a slip of paper that said "The World's Best Pasta."

"Wait, what?" Switzerland and Lichtenstein looked at the recipe in disbelief. They had Italy's pasta recipe. That was even better than the Crabby Patty formula!

They went off to have a picnic.

Back at the Crusty Crab, things weren't looking so good. Italy was throwing things all around the kitchen looking for his pasta recipe and he couldn't find it. He ran into Austria's room on the verge of tears and explained his story. Austria's face fell.

"We need to find that recipe. It brings in almost as much revenue as the Crabby Patties! We must-"

Then, Poland barged into the room in a dress. "Daddy! I need mall money!" he screamed.

"Why? I told you no more money for you."

"But, daddy, that was, like, a whole WEEK ago."

"Okay, Poland, but only of you help find Italy's pasta recipe."

"Like, whatever. As long as there's mall money for me."

Austria reluctantly handed over a $50 bill. He commanded Italy, America, who had been standing in the lobby since his entrance, and Poland to find the recipe.

The two followed America to China's house, a giant, underwater snow globe with an oak tree in it. They barged in the door and saw something scary, China in a purple bikini. Some covered there eyes, some stared, but all were shocked, even Poland.

"Ayah! Don't look aru~!" China barged behind the tree and came out in a spacesuit. "There," he said. "What do you need?"

America pushed to the front of the group and practically screamed the story to China.

"I see aru~. You need my scientific knowledge to find out where the recipe is."

They saw the recipe show up on China's radar in jellyfish fields, where Switzerland and Lichtenstein were having their picnic.

"Let's go find that recipe!" America screamed, dragging everyone out the door.

In jellyfish fields, Switzerland and Lichtenstein broke off of their conversation when they heard a noise. They looked behind them and saw the group coming toward them at breakneck speed.

"Lichtenstein, pack up and run home. I'll take care of them."

So Lichtenstein ran away with the picnic basket and Switzerland took out his gun.

The group came up to Switzerland and stopped, causing everyone to crash into him. Poland ended up on top of Switzerland.

He leaned down to Switzerland's ear and whispered, "Give back the recipe or I will paint the Chum Bucket wicked hipster pink."

Switzerland cringed, but still stood his ground. Paint could be washed off.

"I'll dye your hair the same color," Poland continued. No result.

America stood up and brushed off his clothes. "I know the location of your gun storage room and promise to sabotage it in some way involving wicked hipster pink."

Those made Switzerland give in. He handed over the bottle and ran away.

Italy triumphantly walked back into the Crusty Crab with everyone. They had succeeded because of the power of wicked hipster pink, so Austria was forced to give Poland another $50. They all ate crabby patties and-

England woke up, sweating. What a horrible dream he was having. All of these crazy people were running around in his head, doing weird things. He looked to his left and saw France sleeping peacefully.

God, he thought, I really need to stop getting drunk and watching American cartoons before bed. And with that he lied back down, rolled over, and fell asleep.


	2. The End Of The World :D

**The End of The World**

**Note: Got inspiration for this from a conversation with my friend during Hurricane Irene. I was having writers block. Contains lots death, insanity, and depressiveness. Viewer discretion advised.****  
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Austria's instruments are stolen. He starts playing anything he can find, totally unlike him. He goes crazy and his personality changes, all because he's too cheap to buy another piano. He dies while walking down a street. A piano falls on him, crushing him.

Switzerland's gun supply is gone and nobody will sell him any for fear of being shot. He dies from using dynamite instead of guns.

America runs out of hamburgers. He goes crazy and dies of starvation at the world's last McDonalds.

Flying mint bunny disappears after America's funeral. England goes emo and cuts himself to death.

France goes crazy and is locked in a empty room for the rest of his life, after England's death. He hangs himself.

Everywhere Greece goes, cats hiss at him. He goes crazy can't sleep. He dies from lack of sleep.

Japan runs out of rice. A huge famine ravages Japan. One day, he eats a bad fish and dies from food poisoning and starvation.

N. Italy runs out of pasta for good. The last stalk of wheat dies from an unknown beetle. He dies of starvation in Germany's arms because Germany's food "tastes like shit."

All the tomatoes in the world die because of a strange disease much like the one that caused the potato famine. Famine ravages the countries with no wheat or tomatoes. Romano dies of starvation next to Spain and Spain dies too (for the same reasons).

Prussia meets somebody awesome than him. He goes crazy. Both of his best friends are dead and he can't bother Austria. He ends up jumping out of a window awesomely.

Netherlands runs out of pot/marijuana. He stops eating and dies of starvation.

Christmas is canceled because of lack of salamaki and the death of Hanatomago. Finland ends up dying of an unnamed desease in Sweden's arms.

China's panda runs away, Shinaty-chan goes missing, and he runs out of yaoi ~aru. He ends up dying of old age at about 4956 years.

Russia runs out of vodka and sunflowers. He shoots himself in the head just as Lithuania and Latvia come into the room.

Ukraine dehydrated too much from crying from Russia's death. She had promised him that she would be able to see him one day, but that day never came.

Belarus realizes she can never have Russia and hangs herself.

S. Korea realizes that in fact, nothing he thinks was invented in Korea is invented in Korea and China's dead. He goes crazy and jumps off a bridge.

Germany sees Italy die and runs out of beer. He shoots himself.

Lichtenstein misses her brother too much and stops eating.

Hungary sees Austria die, looses her frying pan, and can never go hunting again. She dies because she jumps off the roof of her house into a pool of concrete.

Belgium runs out of waffles and chocolate and misses Spain and Netherlands. Her car breaks down on the way to Netherlands' grave, so she walks the rest of the way and gets struck by lightning.

The world runs out of pink because all of the countries are dying. Poland gets depressed and dies in a field at sunset, right next to Liet.

Lithuania goes mad after Poland, America, and Russia die and kills himself with an axe he found in his backyard.

Latvia gets killed in a DUI accident after Russia's death. He drives into a building.

Estonia tries to connect his consciousness to a computer and fails, killing himself.

New Zealand runs out of sheep.

Denmark's axe goes missing and he dies from trying to make a new one out of knives (he trips).

Norway is never able to see or insult Denmark ever again and goes crazy and tries to bring Denmark back using magic, but fails and dies in the process.

Nobody notices Canada until he eventually fades into oblivion.

Sweden sees Finland die and dies in a car accident on the way home. He can't see where he's going because he's crying and runs into a lake and drowns.

Iceland gets caught in a volcano eruption.

Turkey's mask gets stolen and he "falls" of a cliff looking for it.

Egypt gets attacked by mummies.

Cuba sees Canada die, then mistakes grieving America for Canada. It does not end well.

Taiwan is seeing all her brothers die and as far as we know, died in a cave with Vietnam.

Seychelles sees France and England die and goes crazy. She ages 25 years in a day and dies because she was crying on the beach during a tsunami.

And all of you are left in hell after all the countries die. The world is an anarchy run by Sealand. That is the true end of the world as we know it.


End file.
